Any man or
woman who enjoys and/or partakes in three or more of the following:
Excessive amounts of sleep (greater than twelve hours per day);
voluntary unemployment, unless a stay-at-home mom or dad; promiscuous
sex; excessive smoking, drinking, or consumption of drugs; living
as a fat person (and we don't mean 10 or 20 lbs. overweight, either!);
auto racing; tobacco chewing; public displays of belching, flatulence,
and/or butt or crotch scratching; massive consumption of junk
food; attending monster truck rallies or wrestling events, and/or
viewing them on television (especially pay-per-view); wearing
cowboy hats to such events as weddings and christenings, or to
such places as the supermarket; divorcing more than twice; striving
to be a rock or country star; living in a mobile home that has
already been damaged by a tornado; pridng him- or herself on being
known as a "redneck"; lining up to ride a mechanical
bull; bragging about the number of times one has been arrested
or incarcerated; priding him- or herself on the act that he or
she never graduated high school or obtained a GED; one who has
enthusiastically yelled any of the following at a golf tournament:
"You da man!", "Go, boy!", "Get on outta
dere!", "Yee haw!", or "Woooooh!!"; one
who will gladly tell you the story of how he or she lost his or
her teeth; saving proofs of purchase to buy "Marlboro gear";
anyone who takes out and cleans his or her dentures at the dinner
table; one who thinks spending more than $10.00 on a "formal"
dinner plate as a wedding gift is ridiculous; and finally, anyone
who visits and enjoys this site.
new. Stuff still sucks. Thank you, drive thru!
We here at
the Scum Shopping Network cater to the home shopping needs of
the scumbag. If you do not spot any familiar traits within the
"scumbag" definition, you're probably not being very
honest with yourself. Otherwise, you're either an uptight prude
or simply so heinous (heh-heh....I said "anus") that
you aren't worthy of even being called a "scumbag".
Offended? Tough shit! Point your browser elsewhere. The world
wide web is a big place.
NOTE: Photos of the Scumqueens throughout this site
do not necessarily reflect how the Scumqueens appear today, in
the year 2003. Most pics were taken between the years 1992 and
1996. Not that you give a damn, but we thought we'd waste some
space by pointing that out. Thank you, drive thru!
for The Scum Shopping Network at HumorLinks!