Beating the crap out of our home shopping competition one lame network at a time.


Warning: SSN is rated PG-13/R by its creators for adult humor, including mild profanity. If these things offend you, bite me and leave!



 *Disclaimer (PLEASE READ, FOR GOD'S SAKE!)*

SSN (Scum Shopping Network) is purely fictitious. In other words, this crap isn't real! The products are fake. Any resemblance to actual products, manufactured presently or in the past, is purely coincidental. Do NOT try ordering these products. Doing so will just make you look like a dumbass. This is NOT an "adult" site, in the traditional sense. There is nothing pornographic here, so get off our case if you've got a gripe. However, we do require that you, the viewer, be 17 years of age of older so that you may understand the greatness that is scum (in other words, I guess you could say this site ranges anywhere from PG-13 to R, dependig upon which page you're viewing). If you're not 17 or older you just won't get it, so GET LOST! Thank you very much.

You may occasionally see mention of the names Noah Wyle ("ER") and David Duchovny ("The X-Files"). Neither Amy nor Steph knows these men. They wish (Amy and Steph wish, that is).! Amy worships Noah, while Steph adores David. Incidentally, both women are, in fact, married, and their husbands despise their teen-like infatuations with these studly TV gods.

If you find this site amusing, by all means, spread the word! These women, Amy and Steph (to reiterate, real people) want to be famous! Send fan mail, product suggestions, or rude comments to Thanks for giving the site a gander. Hope you enjoy it!


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