It is with deep regret and sadness that we at SSN must announce the
demise of the great Dick Tremons. "Dick", as he liked to be called, was found dead, pantsless, at his computer. Coroners have ruled the cause of death as "excessive masturbation". Apparently Dick enjoyed meeting people, especially ladies (we assume), online for chitchat, followed by marathon rounds of cybersex. The tremendous amount of ejaculatory fluid found at the scene indicated that ol' Dick lost too many fluids and proteins necessary to survive. "If you've got to go, go with a smile," said the great Jack Nicholson as "The Joker" in Batman. We here at SSN can rest assured that Dick (and his..Well, you know..) did, indeed, go with a great big smile. God Bless You, Dick Tremons! You will be missed! |
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